I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i've created a new STD.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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