so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i believe in u and ur pee
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
