the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize