You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
