Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
