I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
