i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize