i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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