Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
