is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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