I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
