i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
