you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
