apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
