Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
