Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize