I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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