You're so nebulous sometimes
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
