She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
