I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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