My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
