We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
