You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize