i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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