the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize