White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
