Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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