Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
