My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
