I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
