The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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