too bad you live with your parents still
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He shit in the fireplace
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