Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
