I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
