I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
