I faked an abortion last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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