Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
