No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
