he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
