Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
