You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I checked into jail on foursquare
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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