forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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