A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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