I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just pee around me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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