i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize