dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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