He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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