She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
