the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
