He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
