I wish I could punch you in the face.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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