I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
