my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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