she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
