ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
