People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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