guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
