Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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