That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
