Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
