So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
