I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
