At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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