can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
