I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
