if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
