Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
