absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My feet surprised me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
