Welp...herpes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
