we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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