Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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