I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
