i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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