My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize