Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We left an ass print on the piano.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
