I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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