i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
