How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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