You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
