i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
