Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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