Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
