I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
