sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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