Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I puked a lego.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
